Last week I got myself into a very strange but certainly not an uncommon situation. I was on a trip to my home town and was supposed to be with my family. Despite being with my family my people I was trying to be in constant contact with one of my friend through all the possible medium of communication technology has given us...don’t think much just the SMS and Mails ;) But my friend deliberately wanted me to be with my family and was quite apprehensive in replying to whatever conversation we were having. She literally debarred me for any further communication and asked to excuse her. Out of aggression I threw her a bad message...asking let me decide what I want to do, where I want to be and with whom I want to be. My friend reciprocated to it in the same rude manner, which was so expected. After that somehow I could not make myself to continue the communication and neither my friend tried to. That was Saturday, after 3 days on Tuesday I was back to my usual routine. In between there was no communication, though I thought about it quite a lot but simply could not make a move. Don’t know it was coz of my self-respect or was it my Ego that restricted me. Tuesday gone...no one took the initiative. Wednesday whole day no communication, finally at night I saw her online in green color, certainly she would have seen me too but I took the initiative and then we had this longggggg discussion.
My point here is, Is this kind of Ego justified between friends?? If I look at things from my side, I was the primary key in there and it should be left on me what to do and where to be. But I am very sure there would be the other face of coin too. Point here is if you are tied to a relation called as Friendship, it should not matter who is taking the first step or who is making efforts to soothe the situation. If at one point of time I am on odds my friend should try and understand the situation and try to bear me at that time...off course vice-versa is applicable as well. But why this EGO stuff between friends???
As per me in the current situation if she would have left her Ego aside just for once and would have taken my aggression positively, things wouldn’t have stretched so long. After that discussion we are definitely at talking terms but we are not on the same lines now. Something has changed. This is the first time I had an argument with her and may be now we are seeing the true nature of each other. We both are pretending at best that things are back to normal but we both know...it’s not. May be this is how it goes, it may take time. But I just wish it gets restored ASAP with a “capital A”. I am not enjoying it at all.
I am throwing an open question here.....Does this Egos between Amigos make any sense? I do understand it happens...but can’t it be avoided??Any tips any suggestions?
P.S. Lately I have been involved in lot of thinking and was wondering how to differentiate between self respect and EGO. Tough task isn’t it??
P.P.S If science allow us to be at more than one place at the same time (don’t read physically), then what’s the problem in it??